Worthy is the Lamb

when i entered the sanctuary yesterday, i was speechless. they were starting to sing the song that i was faithfully listening to on thursday and friday at work - Worthy is the Lamb.

Not only was the music nice, but the lyrics were very meaningful.

Having gone to the church with someone i adore and love yesterday, i suddenly reflected on my past. what did i do to deserve to be so happy these few weeks? are these feelings real? i just cant thank God enough for showering me with all these blessings!

i m struggling at work. fighting the issue of unfairness. i ve lost my passion for work. everyday when i come in, there s only one thing that i look forward to. goin home and rest. there s so much work, yet no one to work with. there s so much work and i dunno where to start. what to end first. i m getting restless.

i know these 3 years will pass quick. worthy is the lamb indeed. and although i m unsure of what will happen after 3 years, i know i m on my way to learning more things about life. it s an open field, and right now, i m only at the starting of my journey. long way to go chris! hehe!

will be leaving for spore for supercamp soon. for 11 days..hope it ll be another great experience there!

am packing up, leaving the office now..tonight...i have a challenge..PORK chop..that s my challenge..ehee!

gtg! will be back soon!

roger out! :)

when happiness becomes worries

i ve been so happy. so happy that i find it hard to express my happiness.

but with all these happiness the past week, i m starting to get worried. like..wowee..what happened?

the last two weeks, someone came into my life and i have shifted some of my life priorities. for him, i feel that it s worth it. i m learning to love differently this time.

there might be issues that have not been resolved. we might have taken the wrong first step but well, it has been taken, and there s no turning back unless we end it right here, right now. but, nope, the both of us are not goin to be doing that.

however, within this period of time, it s really goin to show me what kind of person he is. his next actions or decisions would really tell me what kind of person he is. and i m really praying and hoping for the best. heartache, i dont need now. who needs a heartache anyways?

he s made me feel on top of the world the past two weeks and omygosh..i cannot believe that it s only 2 weeks! ahaha! his smile..his red ears..haha! just the thought of him makes me smile. but we both cannot deny the existence of some problems and i cannot do anything about it and i cannot ignore it. i pray that these would be solved soon and that both of us can smile genuinely everytime we see each other :)

and i always believe that after every storm, the sun will shine again! :)

teh o ais limau dua :)

it s been almost a week that without fail, i will at least have a glass of teh o ais limau with someone who is able to make me smile.

today alone, i ve had two glasses of teh o ais limau at our favourite hangout spot. just to be spending time with him, knowing that everything we have is so real, makes me smile/grin from ear to ear.

it s been long. it s been long since i was this happy.

is he the one? i wouldnt dare answer coz i know God must have had His reasons to send 5511 into my life.

like Su Yin said, hey, this is to make up for all the bad times that you ve been through before. and i thought, yups and this, i shall cherish.

i hope i ll have my teh o ais limau again with him tomoro and just be there looking into his eyes when he looks at me.

:)

these few days, i cant help realize that some of my closest frens are going through some hard times and i ve never forgotten how they supported me through when i was down and out. i pledge that i d make sure they ll be happy again...how can i ever let my sunshines stop shining?? that would be insane! i love u guys! and u know who u guys are! definitely! :) hugs to all of u..and wait..it ll be soon, when i show u..who s been making me this happy :) just wait..hehe!

100th post..wow!

As i drove to work this morning, i had an uneasy feeling. I wore all black today. Apart from looking slimmer, well, i wasnt feeling too good too.

I ve had so much fun the past few days. Being on top of the world was a great feeling.

Today, the weather was gloomy too. Is that a sign? Feelings. Why do humans have feelings? Why do I have feelings?

Blogging I am but with words all jumbled up.

I miss him. Trying so much to act cool. Trying hard to tell him I m ok. Telling him to settle his stuffs first. I m glad I met him. I m ok. It s someone else I m worried about. I ve been in that shoe before. When the world crumbles on you. Why? Why do all these have to happen? Another lesson perhaps. But I m glad he s taking the right steps. Well, hopefully he does. He re assures me through his smiles, showing off his perfectly straight teeth. He reassures me through his smses that i love receiving.

Well, so much has happened this year. Guess, meeting him is one of the blessed times.

Tailou has just recently bought a car and I m so proud of him.. RED COLOUR ok?? DONT PLAY PLAY. loves hims lotss!

Bryant was involved in an accident this morning. Hope he ll be alright.

the exclusives I miss. I miss the laughing and stupid things we talk about...especially when it involves our ex-coursemates! ahaha! not like some are worth talking about... Grace, Mun Yee, Mel and Cheng yee..they speak words of wisdom..so much so that everytime after meeting up with them, i feel so blessed to have them as GREAT frens! :) sistas!

The day s gonna be long. Well, let s say, the next 10 days will be long. I ll be alright. I am. and yeah, anyone thinking of watching the Rise of Gengkhis Khan...oh..please...dont. AHAHHA! it s not worth the money and time. I d rather watch titanic.

alrightey..here goes my 100th post..cant wait for my 152nd! :) why 152?? hmm...come on...

when caught in between

i wonder why

when i look into ur eyes, something tells me u have something to tell me..

i wonder why

almost always never counts

i wonder why

i m always caught in between

i wonder why

one test comes after another

i wonder why

i m still so weak when it comes to the matter of love

i wonder why

u are not mine

i wonder..and i m still wondering...

only one person knows the answer..

knows all the answer

structures the answer the way it is supposed to be..

yups..only He knows..

Will I ever get a second chance?

IT was year 2007 when i made the decision which was a mistake. It was year 2008 when i continued making the same mistake. In 2009, need not say, i was still making the same mistake.

After a short chat with a friend this afternoon, i was utterly disturbed with some comments that were made and i cannot help but have felt and am feeling that I have definitely failed God and I have shamed my church, my parents and my God.

What i want to know is, how do I get a second chance? I cannot turn back time, that s for sure. But by asking God to forgive me, is that enough? will others accept me for who i am in time to come? will i lose someone if i told my past? will i?

Will i get a second chance? if i stay quiet, does that mean i have not lied? if i pour it all out, will that hurt others deeply?

"oh Lord, I know that I ve sinned. So much so that I dont know how to turn back. I sincerely repent for all those things that I have done. Will others apart from you judge me? Father Lord, what should I do? It wasnt once that i have sinned. It was more than that. I know that i have wronged.
But Lord, thank you for sending this friend of mine into my life who has perpetually reminded me of your teachings. I shall not repeat that mistake again coz i know it will hurt u very much and also someone in the future. Lord, please give me the strength to overcome this. In Jesus' name i pray, AMEN."

12 hours..a challenge?

Is this one catchy enough?
i need a catchy name for the newsletter. i ve thought about it the past week. i thought i had it..but a few didnt agree with it..so there it goes again..down the drain..

sometimes, i get so angry that i dont know how to express myself.

last night for instance, i found out something..something that i thought might never happen again..but, sigh...no one can ever read the future rite?

called mel, and we both chatted..kinda caught up with each other s stressed out life. she said, hey..prob it s destiny. as much as i want to think that it is..i ve finally decided that i ll not let it bother me. i have a better reason to be there and i know i ve gotta work hard to make it a worth while moment of learning.

tomoro, i ll be presenting to my boss some stuffs...which i still havent thought thru yet! i m pissed with myself. i m pissed that i ve slacked so much. my creativity has been pulled down by gravity that there s no creativity left in me. (haha!CHRIS...Funny! blame it on gravity)

i ve got 12 more hours..well, i just had maggi. went out to A&W with my cousin, her frens and su yin. didnt eat my MOOZZZaaaa bugger..haah..wasnt hungry..but came home..felt like maggi-ing!! ahaha!

so, hey, i better get back to work..but first..hehe..a hot shower would be nice! :)

history repeating

A year ago, i didnt know what this program was all about. A year ago, all i cared about were the drama performance..exams..and GYS. THAT WAS A YEAR AGO..

one year down that road, im still pretty much afflicted with both 'the' program and GYS. exams...hehe..no more..

one year down that road, so many similar things are happening. lack of sleep, excitement, stress, let's say...all in one..AGAIN.

i ll be facing a lil test starting next month on something which i ve been trying very much to cope with...time management. similar things are happening..prob with different people around..and prob at different venues..and i m scared. stepping out a lil of my comfort zone..i m scared..but i know the effects after these will be great..if i choose to enjoy every single moment of learning this time. i dont want to be a zombie after all the happenings starting from May to August.

it s end of April, time is zooming past..FAST. i m trying my very best to be good at what i m doing..but is trying good enough?

i m 25..10 years ago, i d say that i ll be getting married when i m 27..stable with a good career path..own a car..my own place when i m 28..hmm..those goals, i ll achieve..but let s add 10 years to all those age! haha! 37 when i get married..38 to own my car and house..ahaha! way to go chris! let the fire continue burning! haha!

it s getting crazier..crazier i tell u..crazier..

am i ready for June? or even May? i dun wana think about it! i need a good sleep..