growing up

Growing up in a close-knit family, i was always taught that if we are nice to others, others will be nice to u too. that s what i ve done..most of the time.

but as i grew older, i dont think that s true anymore.

the past week, i vehemently think that i will not be that nice to others that i dont really know anymore.

to men? sigh...i ll be extra careful. to gym instructors..i ll be extra-dextra careful. sigh...

i learnt the best about what love and lust are through heartaches. i hate that feeling.

i ve lost a part of me. i ve lost the thought that love is beautiful. love? it isnt beautiful.

i ll just wait. i m a strong woman..or that s just how others perceive me..that s why men are sometimes intimidated. ahah! sigh...

like every other woman, it s just my dream to have someone who loves me.

prob, i m just goin thru my mid-life crisis! ahaha...i ll be dead by 48 eh?

i ve got a career..i ve got a family..what else is missing?

Father Lord, please continue to guide me. Amen.