Most of the time, our plans dont work.

the pressure s mounting up once more. leaving for a 10-day camp. lots more GYS things not done. am dead worried. if i dont remind my members about things, i dont get to see the results. am really tired of reminding..The VIPS havent called for a meeting with us and they might call within this 10 days when i m not around. all these small things get me so worked up. i get agitated and i wish i could do everything on my own. but, i know that it is impossible.

am i trying too hard to be the superwoman?

am tired of having to try.

sometimes, we plan too hard. coz in the end, u ll realise that what u ve planned does not work.

have i done what i should do as the director? have i done enough? how do i measure how well i ve done my duties?

tonight, got to know that Yung tat s been offered a job in Hong Kong. it s a job with good prospect, i believe, if not, he wouldnt have accepted it. am happy for him. yes i am.

Calvin, my first body combat instructor, is also leaving. have had good and bad times with him. am wishing him all the best. he ll be solely teaching in Fitness First, i think. tot i wanted to end my contract with Celebrity and join Fitness First, but wouldnt wana be sending the wrong signals again..hence, i ll stay put with my fav gym - CELEBRITY fitness - One Utama! ;)

seems that everyone s leaving. is that a sign for me to start things anew?

have accepted the job offer and am starting work soon. it s been a week of uncertainties and am glad that my frens were there for me. mel and grace made sure that i was alright all the time! thanks peeps! tailou and pn ki were always there to make sure i ve got someone to talk and complain too! u guys rock!! ;) love u all lots.

well, gota rest..it ll be a long 1odays! will be away at Trolak Resort, Sungkai for Supercamp. hope i ll learn someting from it and also have some fun b4 i come back home and start work! ;(

xoxo

finally..i m at peace..

was a lil disturbed bout some issues regarding both important things going on in my life. but God never fails to show me His love. He knew i was going through a moment of uncertainties..and he sent some help.

got a phone call this morning and that call saved my day!

am not confused now..but worried. hope i ll be able to deliver at both my workplace and also in my GYS team.

no one would ever know how precious GYS to me. ppl asked, 'what s this GYS thing that u re doing? why is it like never-ending!?'
well, it s my first project with UM and i m glad i didnt turn down the directorship post. have had fun and am still having fun but at the same time, am all stressed out. But, i m superwoman. i can handle this, or so i tell myself! ;)

so, finally, am at peace...am sure the next tsunami is coming. but till then, i should spend some time breathing properly! ;)

i m all good to roll! :)

No air..no air..oh..cut the crap!

got back from a minum session with tailou and 'pn' ki. laughed our heads off, talked bout serious stuffs and was just reflecting bout the good old days.
went from talking rubbish to relationships.
later did i realize that i ve never really forgotten bout him.
exactly one year ago, i was preparing for my trip to visit him. didnt see him for one year and i was definitely excited and at the same time scared. i remember the feeling i felt when i was on the plane. cold sweaty palms. went to the toilet a zillion times within the 4 hour trip.
one year down the road, i was thinking of us again. all those happy times that we had together. being without him was impossible. we held on to each other like there wasnt anyone else. what i can never forget about was the hug we shared the moment we found each other at the airport. that hug erased all the pain he gave me and the words that he whispered into my ears softly, 'i m sorry', were the words that i ll never forget.
how did such a wonderful love story end this way? how could such a sweet guy tear my life apart? and most importantly, how did i manage to get back up on my two feet after all the hurt that he d caused me? HOW?
at any moment of time now when i talk about him, i ll always share all the good sides of him, and only mouthed a few bad things about him. he was no angel but he was, in parts of our relationship. he was sensitive to my needs.
it s nice to know that he still loves me now when i ve ended the painful relationship 8 months ago. it s amazing how i am stronger now. it s good to hear from my frens that i m happier now.
listening to the song, No air, made me realise that i m stronger now. i like the tune to the song, but i still do not agree with the lyrics.
to anyone out there reading this and is going thru a hard time in relationship, trust me, one year down the road, u ll be happier and u ll know that the man who loves u, will only make u smile and will not ever make u shed a tear for him.
thought i fell in love 3 times this year and last year, but was wrong.
i only fell in love back in 2006, and since then, i loved no one else. prob what the person, whom i claimed that i love, asked whether if he was a rebound, well, prob he was right.
i thought i was over him, but in truth, i wasnt.
deep down somewhere in there, he s still there. i wonder when will the scar ever heal, or will it ever heal.
am i ready to fall in love again?
what mel said is true. love sometimes come unexpectedly.
so at the moment, i have to be optimistic, and realistic.
i need to know what is important in my life now.
1) Family
2) GOOD Friends
3) GYS
4) Career
5) Myself
n GOD is definitely top on the list.
God showed me the way.
was a lil low yesterday, but it s just one of those days when i m tired and when i just feel like giving up on everything.
trust me, i m alright. i m all good.
i m luckier than many out there.
:)

Will we ever meet again?
part of me says, I hope not.

TAGGED by MELALYN @ Melayu

The Golden Rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how they relate to the questions.
5. Tag 5 people.


1. How are you feeling today?
Heaven knows - Rick Price
i dunno..

2. If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
If that s ok with you - Shayne Ward
yeah right..it must be ok with me first!

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
DUH!! ahahaha!

4. Will you get far in life?
To the sky - Robin Thicke
very FAR!!

5. What do you think about very often?
Taking Chances - Celine Dion
am taking lotsa risks everyday..haha!

6. What is 2 + 2?
Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney
i meant, beautiful souls??possible - twins! ahahah!

7. What's your best friend's theme song?
nobody knows - Dido
hehehe..coz i dunno what her theme song is..

8. What is the story of your life?
Beautiful Soul - jesse mcCartney
cant possibly deny that!

9. What is/was your high school like?
Best days of my life - Jesse mcCartney
really..

10. What is your motto?
Dont u worry bout a thing - John Legend
when i m dead worried bout everything!

11. What’s the best thing about your friends?
Bubbly- Colbie Caillat
they bubble me all the way!

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Like a star - Marie Digby
smart, tall, handsome..just like a star!

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Fame - fall out boy
i wana be famous la!

14. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Hello beautiful - Jonas Brothers
altho he s a man! :)

15. Describe your grandparents.
Footprints in the sand - Leona Lewis

16. How's your life going?
You cant stop the beat - from the Hairspray OST
it s goin too fast!!!and i just cant stop the beat!

17. What is your biggest fear?

Burn - Usher

of fire and height?

18. What will be played at your funeral?
Uptown Girl - Westlife
AHAHAHAH!!just kidding!

19. What is your hobby/interest?
Everyday combat - Lostprophets
obvious..

20. Will you have a happy life?
Tu Amor - RBD
yes, i will..i am!

21. What do your friends really think of you?
Sexyback??
hehehe...tryin to be humble..

22. Do people secretly lust after you?
wont stop - One republic
All the time man!! ahahah!they just wont stop!

23. How can you make yourself happy?
Home - Michael Buble
going home...to sleep??

24. Will you ever have children?
Pray - Take That
when i do, i pray that they re good ones!

25. What song would you strip to?
DUH!! TOUCH MY BODY - MARIAH CAREY!
i m GOOOOD!

26. What does your mom think of you?
The Best - Tina Turner
Sorry bro!

27. What do you think of your parents?
I d rather have you - Luther Vandross
they re the best!

28. What is your deep, dark secret?
Never Knew - The Rocket Summer!
hahaha...never knew..wont want u to find out too!

29. What is your enemy's theme song?
You Light up my life - unknown
yeah..coz they make me angry all the time!!!


30. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Sexyback??
i loveeee the song!!it s so useful!

TAG :
1) GYS frens..sigh..that s more than 3 already
2) Tailou
3) erm..if u wana be tagged!

Just when the sun starts to shine brightly..

i returned and am slowly fading away once more.

when things seemed to be brighter, dark clouds start to move in.

why do all good things have to come to an end? i wonder.

why do all bad things have to start? i ponder.

all i want to be able to sleep at night and to have productive days.

am i stopping myself from all these?

just when i thought i have forgotten all of them, they suddenly come back to haunt me one by one.

were the decisions that i made wrong? or did i not end it with them the right way? do all 3 of them still play a role in my life? why do i allow them to affect me this way?

why did i have to fall in love? mistake. mistake. mistake.

will not get to see them again anymore.

have found someone new, but does he know?

there s someone out there waiting for me, but he s not the one.

have got a job, but why am i not happy?

these questions are playing with my mind from time to time.

when will i ever get to sleep? can i break the clock once more? or do i need to bring myself to face the consequences once more?

these questions, i cant answer.

need time to reflect deeply. 2008...wonder how it ll end.

SUNDAY!

Spent the whole day with my GYS friends at the TAMAN PERTANIAN BUKIT CAHAYA for a location survey. Wasnt feeling that well in the morning when i woke up, had tummy ache. Have been eating out for a week and am missing mum s cooking more than ever. Well, mum s gone back to China to be with dad so this time around, ron n i are facing shortage of healthy food again! :(

sigh..dont feel like blogging now. am not in the mood to do anything. mind is too full thinking about GYS.

need a shoulder to cry on.


what a sunday.

5 days gone!

have been burying myself with lots of work and am getting emotionally, mentally and physically tired. the GYS working camp is so far so good. everyday, i ll be surprised with either with bad or good news and i m still trying to getting used to being caught in those situations;)

these past few days have taught me a thing or two. mainly bout how i shouldnt judge a book by its cover and also never to rely too much on someone.
i ve learnt to trust my instinct more too, although, it may sometimes be wrong.
i ve also picked up a few tactics to be used to get things done, and most importantly, i m in the process of learning on how to be a better leader in an organization. i m a people person, i can never be alone most of the time, hence, i hope with this quality i have, i ll be able to stretch it.

Being in GYS satisfies my thirst to organize events. i ve always enjoyed this, although it can sometimes be very taxing. i mean, erm...most of the time. however, i always believe that the effort i put in is worthwhile. i ll do my very best not only to make this GYS a success, but also to try help lure undergraduates from all over the world to this platform to make them realize that we, youths, hold a responsibility to ensure the world does not lose in her journey in the midst of globalization.

am making a trip with my friends of GYS to Bukit Cahaya tomorrow morning. am looking forward to it, although i may be very tired.

this morning, attended Queen of Jordan, Queen Rania's convocation at UM. She is undeniably gorgeous. saw my Raja Nazrin too! Perfecto! :)

Nadia, Azy, Mel, I & Fendy
DTC, 16th May
Queen Rania's Special Convocation

Post-exam breakfast!

Driving in the morning, got stuck in the jam..sigh..

Finally got to Nirvana for our first Roti after exams!

hehe, look at our happy yet tired faces! my eye bags!!

Wonder when our next breakfast together would be. June? July?August? Am sure that it would be soon yeah? the next time we go out for breakfast, will make sure Tailou s there too. would drag him up in the morning! ahahah! so, tailou..be prepared! ;)
anyways, after we had breakfast, we went to 3 goldsmith store to buy Shiau Chin her wedding gift! found a very beautiful necklace! and WE BOUGHT IT! ahaha! from Brilliant Rose in BVII. Beautiful and elegant! expensive too la of course! ahhaha!
Spent so much early in the morning! we were their first customer of the day! ahaha!
Anyways, am happy we went for breakfast this morning!
All 3 of u, dont forget me k? will see u guys soon! ;)

CHEERS!

OUR FINAL DAY IN UM!

Us, taking a photo AFTER our final paper in the Exam Hall! ;)For the first time, all four of us sat together in the Hall of Torture!

Us with Miss Leow, collecting our portfolio! yippee!! Got an A! :)

Our last meal at Edu Faculty's Cafe after the exam!

Chomp chomp chomp!:)

These were the last few pics that we took in campus. The next time around..it would be during our Convo! without Mel. sigh..haha! ;)

Finally, it s over!

Dear Lord, thank you for all those wisdom that u ve showered upon my frens n i for these past years. as we leave our uni-life behind, i pray that we would not forget what we've learnt for the past years. thank you.
Amen.

Well, am goin to blog in purple today, as it s mel's fav colour. Mel,hope it ll brighten up ur day! ;)

Finally, it's over! Am so happy that i would not need to step into UM's Bangunan Peperiksaan anymore, and that i would not need to go through the anxiety of sitting for exams again, at least for the next few years! :)

today, finally, i had the chance to sit down and have lunch with my good frens. we talked about so many things, exchanged news bout what s goin on in our lives til we didnt realise that time was up for us to part again. Since grace is goin to start work on weds, mun and i are travelling on weds too, we decided that we ll have breakfast together tomoro. after meeting them tomoro, i dont know when will our next meet-up be. cant wait.

well, yesterday, i was pretty down when i realised that i was falling for someone. i didnt realise that it was so serious till it affected my studies. had difficulties concentrating yesterday but later reflected and realised that at this moment of time, my studies, my commitment to GYS, my family were more important. He had to wait. i mean, i ll have to be more rational and not be so impulsive. :) i thought i could give my relationship life a rest after it took its turn the past year. i was distraught and wasnt myself for the past year. had to end a relationship with a man whom i thought was the one, and then was in another 'wrong' relationship, 'wrong' in the sense, we were not supposed to have even started it right from the start.
i ve given myself some time, do the things that i want to do, n like to do without giving them much thoughts. i m better. so much better now. gone were the days when i dragged all my problems to sleep with me. i m back and i m glad.

i know that this guy who is on my mind right now is one great person. but i wouldnt want to spoil our friendship because of this feelings i have for him. will see what would happen the next coming months. wana learn to be more patient! :)

am goin to help my mum cook dinner now..then head off to the gym and then a meeting with Fendy, the ever-vibrant Head of Publicity & Media Bureau of GYS! hehe!

will blog more often now..as i m officially now a penganggur for the next comin weeks! :)

cheers..
superb chris signing out..

Not again!

'NOT AGAIN!' that s what my frens are goin to say when i tell them, i think i like this guy la!

just met him a few months ago..a nice guy. almost every girl would dream of wanting to be with him i guess. had the privilege to work with him for a short time and am hoping that we could be closer frens.

all day and night, i was thinking of whether i should make the first move. but am afraid that, haha..things will not turn out well.

have got my last paper tomoro and i ve studied so hard the first few days. suddenly, this morning, all i could think of was him. i told myself, OH NO! this isnt happening! i cannot afford to not study and only think about him. tried to concentrate..but to no avail. was tossing and turning on my study chair. finally, i tot, alright, i ll have a short nap. when i woke up, SHIT, he was still the one that i was thinking of! i decided to delete all the smses he sent me. wow, didnt realise we exchanged so many smses!called su yin, tailou, mei li, chatted online with zanne. told them, shit, i m in trouble. if i havent had to sit for an exam tomoro, i wouldnt be that worried, i could just go out and chill with my frens, but i cant. i worked so hard for this paper already..i ve got 1/3 more to go! i ve gotta finish this race and not let my emotions take me over. i cannot think about him at this moment. i ve got more important things to do.

wish he knew..haha..he s a nice guy.smart, good looking, pretty sexy, hardworking and most of all, he s got muscular arms! woohoo! ahhaa..though i know pierce brosnan is waaaay cuter..but in reality, i d rather have HIM.

'Father Lord, as my friends and I sit for our final paper tomoro, please guide us and give us the strength to finish the paper using all the knowledge that we've been drilled, for the past few months. Although, my mind isnt fully concentrating on my studies now, i pray and i hope that Lord, you would help me channel back my concentration into my studies. i need to do well in this paper to maintain my CGPA. Thank you Lord. You ROCK! xoxo!'


CHRIS IS GRADUATING! CHRIS ROCKS!
CHRIS NEEDS TO GET THRU HER LAST PAPER TOMORO!

if you get to be a celebrity of the opposite sex, who would you wanna be?(bonus question!!!)

OOOH LA LA! i wana wear those OMEGA watches, well actually i wont wana be him la..i wana be the woman next to him!! ahahahha!
He is IRRESISTIBLE!

PIERCE BROSNAN
aka. Chris' all-time fav squeeze!oooz!;)

TAGGED BY TAILOU TENH